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Goodie.” I heard Frances and looked to see him clapping his hands and bouncing.I laughed a little, he really was very cute. He looked so pleased. He walked over and hugged me hard. I wrapped my arms around him and hugged this stranger that I meet only about an hour ago who I now felt this strange love for. He stepped back.“Oh, my goodness, we need some shoes. Ladies, chop, chop. Something simple and black with a little pop.” He said and waved, his eyes never leaving my face.The ladies ran off and returned with a few pairs of shoes each. Frances sat me down and slipped pair after pair of shoes on my feet. This was really cool, it was like mindless shopping. I knew whatever he picked would be way better than what I would pick. Yes, this was like perfect shopping. I loved this guy. He squealed and then stood up, lifting my hand.I looked down to see a pair of black pumps with a closed front and small clear jewels running along the sides. They were beautiful and they fit. It was in the newspapers. Anyway, you'd probably think that having a huge penis(I'm talking 3 pringles cans stacked together, I'm talking a lamp with a lampshade, like an elephant trunk) is a blessing- that I would be the envy of all my friends. Turns out, it's more of a curse- instead of getting the nickname "anaconda" in the locker room, I was called "mutant". The k**s used to circle around me and chant "MUTANT DICK,MUTANT DICK! LALALALALALA". I can still hear the faint echos of their torment. My parents had to order custom pants for me. It was rough growing up. Then when I became a horny little bastard of a teenager- it sucked to be in school and to be hard because EVERYONE could tell- I would try to tell people that I had a third leg- somehow that would be more acceptable. I tried taking it out one day and putting a shoe on it but I was sent home. That afternoon, ashamed and sick of my preDICKament- I took out my father's hatchet. There I was, standing in the middle of my.
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